Dealing with Angry People

How often do you have to deal with people who are angry?

It could be a partner, your children, friends, work colleagues or your superiors at work.

One of the most important lessons I have learnt in life is too simply be kind, to everybody, all of the time, no matter how upset or angry the people around you are.

Why? Because life is so much less stressful that way.

When you remain calm and kind to others, you can quell small fires and prevent them from getting out of control.

You may think that is an obvious thing to say and you probably think you are kind.

But being kind is not easy. Being kind takes great strength of character. Being kind means learning to control your thoughts and emotions and being as solid as a rock no matter what people do or say to you.

When someone upsets us or makes us angry, we naturally become angry ourselves. When this happens, do not retaliate.

When you feel the anger rising within you, keep your mouth closed and say nothing.

For to speak hastily and angrily will only make the problem worse.

Never show your anger towards anyone, ever…..unless your life is seriously at risk.

Under any other circumstance, anger will always be your downfall.

When someone is angry with you and you react with anger yourself, you are only adding fuel to the fire.

You cannot fight fire with fire, otherwise, you create an inferno. Infernos are very hard to put out and can last a very long time.

You can only fight fire with water or as the Taoist say, “The soft always overcomes the strong”.

What is meant by that? Does it mean you cower in fear and let the other person walk all over you?

Absolutely not. The complete opposite in fact.

You stand your ground emotionally. You take control of the situation by acting calmly and cultivating the opposite. It means cultivating internal strength and great self-control within, rather than losing control of your temper and letting your emotions out.

When you remain calm and in control, you do not become a victim to your emotions. You simply observe the anger inside of you, relax into it, let it go and speak calmly, confidently and clearly back to the person you are conversing with.

Reacting without thinking is easy to do. Anyone can do that, but only the wise know and understand that this will only cause you more problems in the long run. Better to keep your mouth closed. That way you will be able to listen to what is being said and then make your own decision as to whether you believe the facts to be true or not.

Wise people understand that knowledge comes from listening, not speaking.

It takes great strength to remain calm and be kind to those who are angry or criticize you. It means dropping your ego and being unaffected by the opinions of others. It means that inside, you are so strong and confident of yourself that anger and insults from others fly off you without affecting your calm, inner nature. It also means that you are open to criticism and change if you think that what is said will make you a better person.

In the West, we often regard anger as a sign of strength and a good way to get things done. In the East, it is regarded as a weakness.

Sometimes, we believe that getting angry instils fear into people and they will do as we say. But the truth is, you may get things done in the short term, but you also run the risk of people digging in their heels and doing the opposite. Even if they do comply to what you say, they will resent you and do whatever they can to make you slip and fall in the future.

You will also find yourself feeling uncomfortable in front of that person whenever you see them and that causes YOU stress!

If you remain calm, polite and show no fear, you will gain respect from others. When people respect and like you, they will go out of their way to help and support you.

I challenge you to be nice to every single person you meet for a week and see how much your life changes. Do not get angry with anyone. Be strong internally.

Be kind, to everyone, all of the time.

Toby has been practising the healing arts of the East for nearly twenty years and spent 13 years living in South East Asia where he studied meditation, Asian philosophy and Chinese medicine whilst working in Health and Wellness resorts around South East Asia.

Working as both a health and wellness consultant and practitioner at some of the top destination spas in the world means Toby has a wealth of knowledge.

YOU can access Toby's vast experience... CLICK HERE to discover how.

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